Sucking the most out of life…

This is my motto and one I have strived to keep shooting for. From my previous blogs, you can tell I am a worrier, a planner and a mountain mover. I am still going to be that, but I hope to soon remove the worrier from my head, but it is hard. I usually keep things to myself, and only a few know my insides…which come out every now and again when my head is so full to the point of bursting. Why is it that I hold things in, I know it can’t be healthy, but I start each day with a new slate and say, this is going to be a good day and I try to stick to it, but I can’t help if things surface and consume my thoughts. I’m also a runner, I either block it out of my head and do not deal with it, or I feel like I could escape and just run somewhere. Not sure where I would run, or that I even would, it just sometimes it gets so bad in my head I’m not sure where to go. I feel like I have lost my happiness along the way, along this path of worry. I remember years ago, I would worry, but not to the extent I do now, maybe it is because I feel like I am standing in the middle of a very large puddle, and I don’t want to get my shoes wet in the process. So I either will stand there and not move, or hope and wish that I could jump far away, far enough that nothing could bother me. I wish I could find this happiness again…instead of having my head be filled with conversations, spinning wheels and memories of days gone by…*sigh* So much for removing the "worrying" aspect of my life...