Change is good

Where do I begin, a lot and I mean a lot has transpired since my last blog. Trey and I got married on 9/3/14 and that was the beginning of our life together. Even though we were together 11 years by that point in time, now fast forward to day, we are together 13 years and have just celebrated our 2 year wedding anniversary. August was a trying month to say the least, we have been both dealing with issues, one mainly that Trey is bipolar and has been newly diagnosed in the beginning of the year, so I have had to learn to tailor my way of dealing with emotions/non emotions, and it has been a battle to say the least. Just as I thought I have conquered one hurdle, I was thrown for a loop, (well not really) but yea I was. Trey came out to me that he is trans and does not feel comfortable in his body, and would like to now transition. I have had mixed emotions about this because in the past I have been with partners and they have wanted to do the same thing. I think it is who I am drawn too. Now not too many people know as this is still new and he is in the process of searching out endocrinologists etc to start the process. What I find most interesting about this was that after Trey came out to me, he was expecting one, for me to run, and leave which I have no intentions of doing, and 2 that he feels so much more at east, and freeer (sp) if that is a word). It is hard to explain, and what I am curious about is that I am seeing no signs of bi-polar. So that has me baffled as to whether the emotions/non-emotions, anger, etc all have to do with this battle of 10 years that he has been dealing with and not being able or feeling safe to bring it out in the open. Fast forward again to today, where I feel more perfect and in love with Trey then I ever have. It is like our relationship started a new, a new beginning, a new ending and a new world of wonder. This is all still a learn in progress for me, as I have been doing research left and right about this, and I think I am over obsessing with this, but I have joined some FB support groups , Partners of FTM, Wives/Spounses of FTM and they have been very helpful. I am excited and nervous for this next step into the unknown, but as long as I provide a safe space for Trey and our lines of communication remain open, we will continue to be unstoppable.

Sucking the most out of life…

This is my motto and one I have strived to keep shooting for. From my previous blogs, you can tell I am a worrier, a planner and a mountain mover. I am still going to be that, but I hope to soon remove the worrier from my head, but it is hard. I usually keep things to myself, and only a few know my insides…which come out every now and again when my head is so full to the point of bursting. Why is it that I hold things in, I know it can’t be healthy, but I start each day with a new slate and say, this is going to be a good day and I try to stick to it, but I can’t help if things surface and consume my thoughts. I’m also a runner, I either block it out of my head and do not deal with it, or I feel like I could escape and just run somewhere. Not sure where I would run, or that I even would, it just sometimes it gets so bad in my head I’m not sure where to go. I feel like I have lost my happiness along the way, along this path of worry. I remember years ago, I would worry, but not to the extent I do now, maybe it is because I feel like I am standing in the middle of a very large puddle, and I don’t want to get my shoes wet in the process. So I either will stand there and not move, or hope and wish that I could jump far away, far enough that nothing could bother me. I wish I could find this happiness again…instead of having my head be filled with conversations, spinning wheels and memories of days gone by…*sigh* So much for removing the "worrying" aspect of my life...

Roller coaster of life, love and happiness

Wow how time flys when you are living life. I of all people need to keep reminding myself to live, live, live. I am a perpetual worrier and planner, so I’m either worrying about something that hasn’t come or is yet to come, or is dreamt up in my head, or I’m planning things, planning vacations, planning dinner, planning plans…can anyone tell I’m a virgo? Anyways, I thought it was time to update my lil blog that really has no followers, so in all actuality, I’m talking to myself, but it is a release and a calming mechanism at that, so sit down party of one and enjoy the post. My last post was back on Mother’s day and a lot has transpired. My father has a permanent residence at the nursing home due to his Parkinsons and now that dementia is slowing setting in. My mother always says he is this way and he is another way, but when I am around him, he seems normal and talks just like he always did. I personally think’s he does it for some sort of attention, or a way to get back at my mother, but she really had no other choice other than to have him taken care of this way. She cannot do it all by herself, and their place is too small for any type of wheelchair movement at all, so I suppose this is the way it has to be. I do have some animosity about the situation, but I normally do not air my private life to everyone and I rarely talk about this situation even to my partner. It is my feelings that I keep inside and I block them out when it comes to dealing with daily life. If I bring emotions into the picture I become consumed and we all know how Virgos deal with things. Anyways, on our “house” note, we have really been busting our butts getting our kitchen remodeled. It is our “work in progress”. We have all the upper cabinets in place, we have two 3 base cabinets in the garage, so we now need a new sink, counter top and dishwasher, then floor comes after that. We got a new stove, and installed an over the stove microwave, so now we are now painting and it looks absolutely fabulous. We have chosen a sage/mossy green wall paint and a cabin red trim, which is above the cabinets and will be the trim. We also installed a new door frame on one of the doors. So we have 2 other door frames to redo. I could seriously work in the house all day and not be bored or feel the need to interact with anyone. (A.D.D. moment coming) I am just like that, and I think it partially comes with age. I mean I love the friends that we have, because at this time in our lives, the friends we have around us are genuine ones. Not the fake friends that you meet and then leave or disappear into oblivion. I know for a fact that there are about 4-5 of our close friends that we can count on at any given time, and you know what I am ok with that. (back to the regularly scheduled program) We have tackled the canning season with full steam ahead motion. We made tons of homemade spaghetti sauce, I made homemade pear vanilla jam that is so so good and full of rich flavor that mmm it just makes me all yummy inside. I also tried my first hand at making homemade hummus as well as my pita chips. I like to stock up for the winter, I love to do frugal things, and I love to know that if we want it can happen. I am a very self-serving person. I would prefer to do it myself than to wait for someone else to do something for me, hence why we are doing all these house projects. (A.D.D. moment again) Yes they are not completed to my standard of “time frame” but you know what, it keeps us busy, and in the end it will be all the better because we know we did everything ourselves, from painting to redoing the bathroom downstairs, to plumbing, to putting in the patio outside, to installing a new ceiling in the living room (removed the drop ceiling) to laying hard wood floor, to redoing the bathroom upstairs and installing floor and new sink in there. The list is endless and this blog is so scattered and endless that you are probably thinking I’m a hamster in a habitrail, but my blog reflects my head, which reflects my thoughts which is in a round about way, me and my life. So yea, that about sums up my spinning thoughts for the day.

Take me away.....

Well well well, Today is just another day, but to me it is the day before the weekend which in turn is “Mother’s day”. Yay me, yay for spending quality family time with the ones I love the most. Lord knows I need some fun time as work has been knocking me out lately, as well as the health of my father. In the hospital out of the hospital, in rehabilitation center, out of rehab center, back home, falls, back in hospital, and the cycle continues. I blew up at my mother 2 days ago, and I did feel bad about it after the fact but after holding everything in for so long, it had to come out and it came out in the shape of a Lion over the telephone. I definitely have my father in me when it comes to my bluntness. But sometimes when you talk all nice and comforting like no one hears you until you blast it into their ear and I did, I blasted so loud, I had my heart racing. I then had to take a few deep breaths after the telephone conversation ended just so I could get back to my normal place. Of course I apologized to her the next morning, and stated that I needed to say what I said, and get it off my chest. I won’t repeat myself. What she does with the information I told her, she will do, what she won’t do will just be that. Sometimes you just need to say things to feel better, but sometimes I feel like, don’t tell me so my sanity remains. Ya know? Anyways, I know the inevitable and I am dealing with that, her on the other hand blah blah blah. So back to the “fun weekend” that we have planned. It may just be the normal yard sale adventures, or going out to Chili’s for our Queso, but it’s the consistency of it all, that is the best way to keep a family going. If you have nothing to look forward to then why do you live? I do know I’m looking forward to heading to Williamsburg the end of the month. We do this vacation every year, and we always have so much fun. I love the history and architecture that Williamsburg has not to mention we always hit the yummy “Cheese Shop” the first full day we are there to go get our cheese and wine and sit and watch the people. Ah…take me away….

It's a new day!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Today, I’m starting anew…It is gorgeous outside, and I’m going to make everything about today and the next days positive. We have had some down moments in our families recently from Heathers’ grandfather being in the hospital since February 1, my dad’s health and dealing with Parkinson’s and dementia; my mom’s health with caring for my father, and just last Friday, Heather’s Aunt Peggy passed away suddenly without any warning. So after going to a viewing last night and putting myself in the shoes of others…I cannot even fathom the idea of what I have in my future, but I’m going to try very hard to be optimistic and believe that I have lots of good times and good days left to spend with the ones I love and cherish with all my heart. So even though today is the funeral, I am at work as I couldn’t get off work due to her not being a “relative” and not having enough vacation time to take without jeopardizing my days already scheduled, I’m going to try to make the best out of a sad day. I’m going to try to block the sadness and the thoughts that always surface one way or another, but they are now blocked in my head, so I’m done talking about hospitals, death, dying, sickness and any other stress that accompanies this. “It’s a new day……”

Weekend wishes

Today I’m in a pretty good mood, its Wednesday, it’s the middle of the week, I’m in a groove at work, and I’m looking forward to our weekend. We are planning on going to the Puppy Pasta dinner on Friday, it is the Cumberland Valley Animal Shelter’s fund raiser. We have gone every year, so it is a kind of a tradition, its very low key, but we always go to the events the shelter has, so it is definitely for a good cause. This weekend in Chambersburg is the annual Ice fest, which we go to. There are sculptures through out the town, not to mention we hit up all of our favorite thrift stores in town, so we kinda make a day of it. This past weekend we found a hidden gem in Chambersburg, it was a local farmer’s market, where we got the best deals on fresh meat and that is where we bought the chipped beef that I made last night for dinner. It was less saltier than the store bought kind, plus everything I made was from scratch, so no prepackaged crap. We also will head to Sears to pick up our over the stove microwave that we had on layway, so it will be just another notch closer to the kitchen cabinets being installed on that one side of the wall. We need two more cabinets, so I’m hoping with my tax refund and my bonus in March, we will be able to secure a bunch of stuff for the house. My plan is, now this is only a plan, but I want to order 3 windows for upstairs in our room. When we first purchased the house that was the first thing we did was get new windows downstairs, minus the laundry room and side room windows because there is like fifty million windows on the first floor alone. So we kept it in the back of our heads that we are doing it in stages, well just so happens the 2nd stage is this year. Our projects are fluent but stop and go, only because money becomes a factor and I’d rather pay things in cash then try to go in debt for items. This is the new year, so I’m going to keep things going on a good track. Anyways, after we pick up the microwave, I want to make some homemade laundry detergent again. I have been making the liquid kind since 2008 and now I saw a recipe for making a years worth of detergent for $30.00, but it is the dry kind, so I’m going to try that. Frugal, that is the key here people, remember that! Plus I’d like to make some homemade dog biscuits from this book I have. If H is better, we are planning on going out on Saturday night with friends, to dance and shoot pool, and maybe, just maybe my other half will not be drunk on rum and coke the next day. Sunday is the super bowl and it is normally a low key day for us, we do stuff around the house, and I’ll be making wings and going to try those potato skins

and maybe some of that pizza dip I saw recipe for. So this is what I look forward to, to get me thru the week, and to keep me sane. Lets just hope everything continues as planned and runs smoothly, because I’m a creature of reaction, of something throws me off, my mind goes helter skelter!

Perspective

There are times in life when perspective comes into play and you take a step back and say “wow”, you are my everything!!! It’s so hard to explain unless you have been there and felt the same thing that is going on inside my heart. It’s almost to the point that like I’ve said before, it’s that “overwhelming feeling again”. She knows what I am referring to. If you have never had the chance or stumbled upon these kind of feelings, they are like a champagne glass bubbling over. It brings you back to the time back when you first started “hanging out” and if your fingertips graced upon one another in passing, or when you look into the eyes and see deep inside that person’s soul, when thoughts are completed before you ever have the conversation…even memories seem more vibrant…sometimes I feel like I’m the only one who rambles like this but its ok, because anyone who knows me, just “considers the source”. I’m usually the sarcastic friend, the friend who is a fly by the seat of my pants type of personality, you never know what I’m going to same, but when I do say something it usually what others are thinking and are afraid to say, so in instances where I am “sappy” just take it as it is… and enjoy!

I need Inspiration!

Well today I was search through some blogs and it kind of inspired me. I’ve been feeling in kind of a slump this week and I’m not sure why, whether it be that I do not want to be at work, or the fact that, (this only enforces my thinking process today) but on the radio they stated that this week is the most “boring” week, being, we are outside of the holidays, most of our resolutions have either failed or never even gotten off the ground, there are no days off until Memorial day which in turns makes most of the “workers in the work force” bored and feel they do not want to be at work. I being one of these “worker bees”. I wish some days I was back in “the good old days” where I didn’t need to work, that I was taken care of and I could just enjoy life, like I use to. But I keep being reminded that reality is at my forefront now, so I can and am no longer the “lil stay at home wifey”. I can dream can’t I? But it does frustrate me to no end because I have so many ideas and “wanna do lists” in my head that when I finally have the weekend in front of me, the only things that end up being done are the essentials “groceries, dishes and runs to infamous wally world for last minute staples”. I want the days ahead of me to be open and free, to know that if I want to get up and make a nice breakfast, and be a blob on the couch with my cross-stitch and movies that I can, but when that day comes upon me, I just think of all the stuff I “NEED” to get done, instead of stuff I “WANT” to get done. Does that make any sense? I started making my list yesterday of everything that just popped into my head, from giving the dogs a bath, to ordering new windows once my income tax money comes in. It is so scattered and so random, but I needed to do that to find solace in my every confusing head. When I get in moods and moments like this, I always end up turning to my “safe haven book” Simple Abundance, which always turns me around. I started again with reading it yesterday during lunch, in hopes to open back the window into my lil soul. I’m not sure why I even write this because there isn’t many that DO read what I write, but I guess it’s in the back of my head saying “let me out, let me out”, so here I go, “letting it out”. Random thought of the day, I did make reservations for our Williamsburg trip over Memorial Day weekend, so that made me happy!

2013 Here I come

Today is day one or shall I say day two of the new year. We were able to put away most of the decorations yesterday and after a little chaotic blurb of my OCD’ness freaking out, I was able to calm down and get to business. Its hard to explain that if there is chaos around me, I get chaotic, hence the house in disarray. But nonetheless, once I was able to get things under control I calmed, down, my anxiety (acid burn) went away and I was a happy lil butterfly. I was on such a roll, I couldn’t stop, until H said to me, can you come sit with me…and well that was it, once that happened, we were both gone. Our bellies were full from the Pork and Sauerkraut and the blanket was just warm and out of the dryer, I wrapped that around me and we both took a good 3-4 hour nap and woke up at 9:53!! It was nice but also depressing because we had to feed the dogs and then head up to bed but it felt so good to just relax. I love naps especially when I wake up and its either snowing or rainy and I know I do not have to do anything. This on the other hand was like good and bad knowing that I needed to get up for work in the morning. This weekend we are looking forward to getting more organization done, getting back on track with our budget, hopefully my new printer will come, so I can get on the coupon websites and blogs and print out those coupons. Yay me, also hopefully putting the final wallboard up in the downstairs bathroom to finish that project once and for all. Ugh..oh well I just love this time of year, its like “early early spring cleaning”.

Monday, Monday, Dreary Monday

Monday is always the first day of the work week and for some reason it’s a date of depression. I loathe coming to work on Mondays, let alone having it rainy and foggy. Ugh, oh well, not much I can do about it, but I just needed to vent a bit. This past weekend was very funfilled, we went to the Bass Pro Shop on Friday after work, and picking up the kids, that place I never use to like until H drug me along and I have to admit I do enjoy it. Especially the clothing section, oh and the dehydrating and spice/food saver section. I have all these ideas in my head to do some dehydrating but I can’t seem to find the time. But I guess what I will do is the start of the new year I plan on doing it. I’d love to make my own beef jerky, but just not use deer meat. So that was our plans for Friday, then we hit our favorite restaurant Chilis and had a great time. Saturday we all split up and did Christmas shopping, Nick and I went down to the outlets and the Hagerstown Mall, and Maddie and H did the Chambersburg stores. We eventually all ended up back at home, where I made shrimp scampi, which was delish. Sunday we headed to my cousin’s house in Ephrata for a family get together, with yummie food. Today I just got an email from our CEO stating that they are giving us off work on 12/24, which is great, because I’m off that whole week until the 28, which is Friday, so I’ll work one day then off again. This weekend we need to finish up Christmas shopping then I need need need to do baking, which probably will be on Sunday. Mmmm wonder what cookies I will bake this year??

Today I am just grateful to be alive….

Last night on the way home from work, I took the road I normally do 81 northbound…I was about a ¼ mile from the Maugens Avenue exit, driving in the right lane, minding my own business. I needed to get gas at that exit so that is why I was in the right lane. Traffic was heavy and there were tractor trailers to the front of me, and to the left of me. It just so happens before I knew what actually happened, I was being shoved in a spin, round and round and round I ended up in the left lane in the grassy median. I remember the car spun so fast but inside I spun very slowly, gripped the wheel so very tightly, and had my foot pushed so far down on my brake pedal to try to come to some stop. I eventually did stop and was so lucky that I did not hit the guardrail that was a little bit up from where I did end up, and for repeating this over and over in my head…for not being killed on impact. You see as that tractor trailer truck drove over the dotted line, his front end clipped or “pushed” my car like I was sliding on ice. When he pushed me it made my car turn left and around and around and around. I kept thinking that if a car was right behind the tractor trailer as he then went into the right lane, the only vehicle left spinning in the left lane would have been mine which I would have been hit directly on the drivers’s side door, and not actually live to tell about it today. I sat in the car for a while trying to grasp my thoughts, and calm my shaking hands…I got out of the vehicle to check if my tired had blown. Luckily all four tires were intact, I then looked up and saw the tractor trailer on the right side of the road, up about a couple hundred feet. I got back in my car, was able to drive it across to the other side where I could access what had just happened. This man was shaking outside the truck, asking me if I was ok if I was ok, I said I was other than just being shook up. He kept saying I didn’t see you, I didn’t see you, and I’m like how could you not see me, I’m in the right lane, in front of you…you crossed over the dotted line, well he didn’t have a clue what I was saying because his English was very broken and then I said, look, I need to get your insurance information, and he looked at me with big eyes and said, no no no, I can’t give you that, I just started this job, and I cannot provide you with that, and went over to look at the damage to my bumper, and said we can fix. I said no, we cannot, you are giving me your insurance information, I work for a defense law firm for an insurance company and I NEED your information. By this time the traffic was shut down, the fire engine and ems came, as well as the police. After all information was exchanged and I was calmed down a bit, the police officer said that it was what they call a “push and shove” so to speak, and it did feel like I was just sliding but didn’t’ know what caused it in my head because I wasn’t doing anything other than driving in my right lane minding my own business. The officer said I was very very lucky considering what COULD have happened. I then was able to drive home and get in my house and all I wanted to do was cry. I broke down because I kept seeing myself spin and then in my head I kept seeing a car coming to my left side…I could not get that image out of my head. I told H that it felt like it never happened, like it was a dream of some sort, that I imagined it…but I didn’t and that is the sad part. I called her at 6:48 to let her know I was in an accident, and apparently she texted me at the same time 6:48 “where you at baby”? Our paths crossed in that moment, both communicating in one way shape or form. I will never forget that day as long as I live.

I dont wanna wait, for our lives to be over...

Ever have one of those comfortable homey thoughts where you wish it was a snowy day, you were stuck inside, and you could snuggle on the couch and watch Dawson’s Creek on DVD, put a puzzle together and either drink hot cider, or have wine and cheese? Yep, I had one of those lil visuals today on my ride to work. I’m not really a “winter” person, but I do like snow, when I do not have to go outside, only because it kind of “blankets” the outside world, while we are tucked safely at home, and no one has to drive anywhere. So when I think of “snow” or “winter” I think of days like this. Where albeit my OCD does get the best of me, but if I have it planned in my head to NOT anything, then I can kind of stick to it. I think this will be a plan in the near future because for some reason I’m having a craving for a day like that. Since the weather outside is now getting a little colder, I can truly say I am very grateful for our home. I would prefer not to work, and just be a “housewife” again, but I believe those days are over for good, but I can dream can’t I?

Afterall Scarlett, Tomorrow is another day!

Ok, let’s hope today is better than the past two. I’m going to just go with the flow, and the “idiots” have been told about their incompetence so I guess I can only hope for the better right? Ok, now on to bigger and better ideas…this weekend, yep, its coming right around the corner, and my head again is a whirlwind with things I need to get done. I think H and I are going to split up the shopping tasks this Saturday since she still has to do shopping for me and well I need to get shopping done for the kids, so I’ll probably take one of them, and she’ll take the other and we’ll be off in a spree. Then I need to swing by the grocery store because we are going up to my cousins on Sunday, for our “Christmas” get together, yep, she finally agreed to do it, after missing a year or two I believe. Everything kinda went down the drain, after my grandmother and Aunt & Uncle moved to Colorado, and I hope that by rekindling this, we can bring the back the family get togethers. I mean my family isn’t the biggest but it is nice to get everyone together and of course “eat”. I’m making baked ziti and getting a rye bread bull and making dill dip to go with it, by cutting the interior of the bread out and putting the dip inside then using the remaining bread, and crackers and veggies for the dippin part. I’m going to prep everything the night before, then when we get their, I can cook the baked ziti since it will only take ½ in the oven. I know have to figure out what I’m making everyone in the office for Christmas, I can’t really say too much because I have 3 of the atty’s on my friend’s list and well, they will just blab blab blab, so it will be hush hush I think, if only in my head. Not to mention I need to start compiling stuff to bake, because I believe probably next Saturday I’ll do the baking thing which means more and more calories laying around in containers that I do not need, but I do love….  What happened to the days of me not working? Oh that’s right, reality set in!!!!

A post is a post is a post!

Well well, well, I finally remembered my password to get back into blogging, its been a year since my last post. Ugh.. oh well, no better time than the present to start again right? Well let’s see…Christmas is coming upon us so quickly, I’m still getting over Thanksgiving. I have so much stuff I need to get “present” wise its crazy. Not to mention budget the money to match what I need to get *sigh*. Oh well, its not like no one else is in the same boat as me….but we did make a lot of big purchases over Black Friday which one I am still recuperating over. We purchased an over the head microwave to add to our kitchen ensemble. Yep we have been slowly but surely buying new kitchen cabinets which albeit are now stored in the garage *insert frustrating growl here, as I will never have my garage back for my car*. Secondly we purchased another yep, get ready for the squeals, “DOG”! I know I know, I swore up and down I was not going to give in, but the fact that she is a lil dog is a plus, and that also she was born on the anniversary of us meeting was a plus as well. She is such a little fart, I can’t stand it, I feel like when I’m walking thru the house, I’m gonna step on a lil Scottish terrier body as she is underfoot, but it is just her way of saying, I love you mommy, and I’m going to follow you around forever!.. Work is still work, I get so depressed coming to work, and I think most of the depression lies with the drive. If I didn’t have such a long drive I don’t think it would be a problem, but it is, and I can’t seem to get over this hump. Heather got a promotion about 2 months ago, and she loves her new found glory, not to mention the pay is great but she works a lot of overtime which helps her pay accumulate. This is a good thing, we are still getting adjusted because she use to get paid weekly on Thursday, then the company switched it to weekly on Friday, then was switched to every other week, and now with her increase its every other week, but a larger amount, but it’s something I’m never sure what it will be. I have an idea in my head which I need it that way to keep me organized, and anything over that “idea” is a plus which I am rolling into the savings account, not to mention I’m repaying back the dog purchase, so I don’t feel so scatter brained. I’m going to be more on point at blogging, as it seems to open up my head a bit, even if it is just for a day!

Beautiful day for a cold....

I'm still trying to get over this cold that hit me like a mack truck on Sunday, Mother's day of all days. Well now the cough that was a bark, has now transformed into a lil puppy bark, so hopefully everything will be gone by tomorrow at least. I hate being sick, its like we get sick to let us know that our body is run down and filled with stress and chaos to let us get down time to get back on track. I hope so, because I like being back on track and organized. I cannot stand something out of its place and right now there are a few things up in the middle sitting room that are giving me the beejeebies. Hence why I keep letting little hints slip from my mouth so order can be taken.

Random..I am completely addicted to Extreme Couponing, I love love love that show, I want to get a binder, and I want to start a stock pile. I do have one in the basement in this old cabinet that came with the house. I originally have been using that for my canning items, jelly, jams, peaches, tomatoes but now one of the shelves is starting to accumulate stock piles of tomatoe sauces, canned veggies and misc condiments. Which is fine with me, I would like to get it bigger, but the way I think about it, is if I can purchase stuff on sale, keep it and use it when I need it, I am actually saving money in the long run. Like I have this coupon for dog food for the girls on my refrigerator that I need to use because the dog food is on special and its a $1.50 coupon so I would like to take advantage of it while the sale is still going on. I might end up doing that tonight actually, just because the evening is the only time I get to do get things accomplished.

Ugh...my mind is a random mess full of thoughts, organization and antics that need to be figured out in my mind but oh well, I have everyday to organize these thoughts in my head, so I guess I'll just do it one day at a time!

Yay, my Tax Return got Deposited,

After weeks of anticipation it is now in there, and boy do I feel relieved. Not only has everything been paid, but now we are one step closer to getting more stuff done to our house.

List is as follows;

Dyson ( yes I have been talking about this forever)

Hardwood floor for the living room, yes, we have decided to go against recarpeting, due to the fact that our animals sometimes have a$$ problems and will not make Traci a happy girl.

Awning for back patio door
New Front door
New cabinets…starting little and then getting them eventually completed.
Vet appts for 4 dogs, yes they are due and we will need to get their borditella shots since we are planning vacations shortley
New Cell phones can I get an Amen…no lil tiny beebee phone for me and Heather anylonger…


I am a list person, I need to do lists to get organized and well now I feel so much better about being organized I could jump in a circle.

Yay, my Tax Return got Deposited,

After weeks of anticipation it is now in there, and boy do I feel relieved. Not only has everything been paid, but now we are one step closer to getting more stuff done to our house.

List is as follows;

Dyson ( yes I have been talking about this forever)

Hardwood floor for the living room, yes, we have decided to go against recarpeting, due to the fact that our animals sometimes have a$$ problems and will not make Traci a happy girl.

Awning for back patio door
New Front door
New cabinets…starting little and then getting them eventually completed.
Vet appts for 4 dogs, yes they are due and we will need to get their borditella shots since we are planning vacations shortley
New Cell phones can I get an Amen…no lil tiny beebee phone for me and Heather anylonger…


I am a list person, I need to do lists to get organized and well now I feel so much better about being organized I could jump in a circle.

Snow day schmow day

Yep, we got hit with about 7-8 inches of snow last night, and well last night on the way home I decided to park my car in the garage. Now mind you, I haven't parked in the garage for a couple months due to Heather finishing up sanding and painting the kids twin beds. Well yep, I park there last night, figuring, we aren't going to get any snow, which lately the weatherman are so far off its scarey. So yep, I do and we got snow, which at 5:20 am in the morning, does not look to appetizing to shovel,not to mention it was still snowing a little. So I took a personal day to stay home, and do anything at my leisure. Being the investigative guru I am,I decided to see what is going on with my everlasting battle with Turbo Tax. Now when Heather first did her taxes, I said are you sure you put the bank account information on the return correctly, and the automated response was yes, so no harm no foul. Well when we found out the IRS deposited her funds last Tuesday 2/15/11,and nothing arrived in the bank account, I asked again, are you sure you put the right information on the return,i.e. routing number, etc. Yes was the response. So here we come to the investigative nature of me...I thought, well I'm going to pull up the 2010 tax return and see for my self. I couldn't log on to the account and I didn't find the return saved on the hardrive. So I talk to Heather on the phone and she gets into the TT and pulls up the information, and we recite the numbers exactly except she is missing a 0. Yep, just 0. That is our problem... Really? Are you serious? Ugh...so now its the matter of seeing if the IRS got it bounced back due to a wrong acct number or, on the off chance which is "our life" that the account number that the funds were deposited into was a valid account, but just not ours!! Yep, so now we have to find out whats going on. I swear, I just hope and pray that mine gets deposited this Friday and nothing is wrong with the world. I try and try to stay positive and to keep reciting to myself, "I belive, I believe" but it never fails.

So today I'm going to shovel out in front of the garage, and then see what else I can get into without knocking any other flowerpots over with wet soil in that will ineveitably fall on the carpet!! YAY!

Today was a day which was a day

Omg, can I just say I am so glad this day is over, well so to speak, at least work day is over. Started out good, I was in a good mood and bam, like being hit in the rearend by a speeding vehicle, the day turned to shit. Started off by Heather's Tax refund didn't get deposited, so that is another issue, thank you FUCKING IRS...you want our money right away but when its ours coming back to us, you take your good fucking time and well yea....
Secondly,I couldn't accomplish a thing today other than input scheduling orders because my head was throbbing between me not wanting to be at work, and then having to check on turbo tax, and well if any one knows me, I will search and search until I get some solace in my thoughts to actually find a reason for my madness. Comes to say that pretty much everyone is going through the same thing, you wouldn't have believed all the FAQ of Where is my refund? TT says its deposited, but bank says no go, all kinds of posts like that. So seriously, what is the deal IRS? Are you that incompetitent and malfunction oriented that you have cut your costs and no longer hire competetent people to process the refunds. Are you to doing cut backs while the rest of us work our butts off in the 8-5 jobs. Apparently so because the proof is in the pudding and well this pudding sucks!

3rdly, I get a text from Heather stating the Cooper, our Chocolate lab busted out of his kennel and decided to have a friggin tupperware party in the kitchen, by rummaging through the kitchen cabinets and pulling all my tupperware out on the kitchen floor, then he decided to come upstairs and scratch the bathroom door because he wanted to drink out of the toilet. Are you serious?

4thly, I decided to come home in hopes of catching Heather so we could drive up and pick up the kids but nope, I was in the drive home from hell where 5,000 people decided to all drive on 70 at the same time from Frederick to Chambersburg. Yep, thats my life in a nutshell today. So right now I needed to vent, I was going to go running, but the wonderful day couldn't have ended any better by now being dark out and I do not feel like running witha flashlight!! FML!

Gratitude Journal Thoughts Part 1

Can we just say Wow is the word today...wow can be used in so many ways, to show excitement, to show joy, to express an overwhelming feeling, to even mark astonishment or amazement...so all I can say is today is WOW!